(Untitled)

A breath escapes
as my thoughts
start to swirl in angst.
Suddenly,
I feel everything.
My chest can feel
the subtle beat of my heart,
as it contracts
with the pressure
of the world.
Or, how I imagine
the world might feel,
if I were the only one in it,
and I couldn’t escape
a life of worry
a fear of being alone
being afraid
regretting something
forgetting something
feeling everything
feeling nothing.

~~~

Emily McGinley, OU ’14, BFA in Photography

Escitalopram

Sometimes pain
is absence.
Absence of pain,
even.
Absence of life.
Absence of living
in spite of being alive.
When my heart jumps,
and I know it’s just the nicotine.
When my body shivers,
and I know it’s just the cold.
When my heart aches,
and I know it’s just the absence,
the hole torn where emotion should be.
And my eyes drift
from face to face.
My lips form
the smile you expect to see.
My words say
that life is worth living.
Look to the stars.
Too numb to live;
too numb to die.

~~~

Emily McGinley, OU ’14, BFA in Photography

Insomnia

The nights wear me thin,
how they hold me in their grasp
until the morning fades.
Time is stolen
while I can’t control it.
Even while the day is new,
my eyes wide open
and my heart is light,
I feel the weight at my ankles,
pulling me into the earth,
slowing my progress,
ceasing my life.
When darkness falls,
I’m bound in place
to my lonely chair,
restless but still,
alive but faded.
The darkness knows no friends,
only me,
lost in its pitiful depths.

~~~

Emily McGinley, OU ’14, BFA in Photography